I feel sick to my stomach. Anxious. Angry. Depressed. Tired. Wired. And so many other emotions I can't put a name to. I want to curl up in a ball and sleep for a week yet I feel like I couldn't sleep if I tried. I want to scream, cry, cut, puke, and drink until…
Absence of everything
Empty. Drained. Numb. I feel like I have nothing left. It seems like my life is one endless cycle on repeat. Same city/ county. Every day at work is different but the same. Same people. Same concerns with my family and my father's health. I still don't feel like I fit in anywhere and I…
Beautiful day in the life
I don't sleep. I'm always exhausted, day in and day out. I've posted before about my struggle with depression when discussing my past, but there's more to the story than I previously let on. My life hasn't been a complete sob story like a lot of people. Compared to most, I haven't been through a…
I didn’t Know…
When I decided to get into EMS, I don't think I really realized what I was getting into. Sure, I knew I'd be going out to unknown places for people I didn't know to help them on their bad days. But I don't think I realized that I'd see people die right in front of…
My past, my present, my struggle
My past isn't something that's widely known. I started cutting when I was in 8th grade and it continued off and on through high school and a few years of college. It started ironically after I had talked a few friends out of doing exactly that. Like most things, it started out with just one…
Just another day
Today just seemed like another day. I got off work an hour and a half late this morning, due to staffing issues but even with that I somehow managed to make it through a whole shift at main having only two calls. That's almost unheard of. I went to the chiropractor to put my hips…
Two Months
It's been two months and four days.
One Day at a Time 